and then SHE said...

So the dealership called to tell me the damage (to my wallet). I'm about to hang up when the woman says to me "By the way, you probably already know this but your windshield wiper fluid is leaking." 

Hunh. That would explain why I seem to run through it so fast. "How much?" I ask.

"It'll be $250." She tells me. Somewhere in the distance, I think she's explaining how the jet alone costs 150. I'm laughing so hard I can't be certain.

"You're telling me it's 250 to fix a leak?" I ask her. "Don't you guys have a roll of duct tape lying around?"

Pause. Then a sound that might be strangled laughter. "I'm sorry sir, we don't do those kinds of repairs."

I told her to skip it. I figure if the windshield gets dirty, I can just wipe it off with the two hundred and fifty dollars I'll have in my pocket.